Wednesday, April 4, 2012

No One Ever Said Being a Mommy Was Easy

Yesterday was one of those days where I tried to do it all...

And failed miserably.

I wanted to be Super Mom but instead, I spent my afternoon feeling defeated and frustrated.

You see...I am pretty spoiled when it comes to help with my kids. My parents live 5 minutes away and since they are both retired, they help me a LOT. I also have in-laws near by, who always lend a hand when they can too. Dana and I also try to help each other with the kids, which is thankfully becoming a lot easier these days.

But aside from all this available help, I like to try and take care of things on my own sometimes. I mean...I am completely capable of taking both my kids to the grocery store instead of waiting until Eric gets home. I am also completely capable of taking both kids to a doctor's appointment, without having to ask my parents to watch one of them. I mean for God's sake...MckMama is on an RV trip with all 5 of her kids ALL BY HERSELF!!! If she can do that, surely I can handle a trip to Barnes and Noble with 2 of them.

And some days I can. Some days it's easy. I can get through the grocery store with no major meltdowns. I can get through a meal in a restaurant with them and not have to leave before I finish my food. I can take care of my errands, my housework, my schoolwork, the kids projects and still manage to get dinner on the table. On those days I pat myself on the back and say, "Well done Momma! Way to tackle shit today!"

But then there are days like yesterday. I woke up with the best intentions. I needed to get both kids a haircut, visit Target and the grocery store, and take Blake to a follow-up doc appointment.

Not that tough, right?

Stop one was the haircut. Both kids were awesome. They sat there all cute, eating their suckers, letting the lady snip away.

And then Blake pooped.

Not a big deal. This is a kid's hair place, it happens all the time. So I reached in my purse to grab my diapers and wipes bag and realized it's in my stroller. You know...the one in my garage? So I have no diapers. And this boy is ripe. He is stinkin up the salon and I feel like the worst mom. The woman cutting Addie's hair was even like, "Oh no...did you forget your diaper bag?" Clearly, lady. Clearly I forgot the diaper bag.

So after I paid $30 for two haircuts, we were off to CVS. It was there that I changed Blake's diaper. In my car. In the parking lot. He was in an awkward position and then when he heard another car door shut he turned to look.

Poop everywhere.

Not a biggie. I used the whole thing of wipes I just bought to clean up the mess, and everyone was poop free and ready to head to the store.

Target was easy, we were in and out. But then Wal-Mart came with all of their delicious, tempting Easter candy displays and my kids went nuts. Like seriously...they were like two animals in the cart, screaming for M&Ms. So of course I grabbed the first bag, tore it open and prayed it would last until the check-out line. I suppose it would have, if Blake hadn't dumped the whole bag upside down in isle 5. 

That's when we left Wal-Mart.

At this point, I was sure it was time for Blake's doc appointment. It was at 11:30 so it had to be almost 11:15 at this point. I looked down at my phone. 

10:30.

Mother &^&*^%%!!

But then I had this wave of Super Mom adrenaline rush through me and I thought, "I'VE GOT IT!!!" So in the car we flew to Barnes and Noble and walked in just in time for story time. The kids sat on the bench all cute and I happily accepted the smiles from other parents. My kids are adorable when they behave.

We made it through one story before Addie was over it. She was eyeing the train table that was currently occupied with some other kids. Kids who weren't into sharing. And since their Mom was looking at US Weekly...she wasn't into caring. Whatevs. It was the Hunger Games issue. I get it. But shit got ugly around that train table and she was no help at all. So I ended up having to take my kids away from the table screaming. Not the best exit from a bookstore.

Luckily, it was FINALLY time for the doctor's office. And had it not been for the 45 MINUTE WAIT...my kids might have held on. But they didn't...and the docs office was pretty ugly too. Lots of crying and whining. And the kids were no better.

On the drive home, the kids slept. I didn't even try to keep them awake because the quiet was nice. They would be rested when we got home and we could go play outside and all would be right with the world.

When I pulled into the garage, the kids were still sleeping. I decided to leave them while I unloaded the car and let Howie out. Well, between one of my trips into the house, Addie woke up and thought I had left her there alone. So she SCREAMED to Blake and he woke up in a panic. When I went out to get them, they were both hysterical. I was seriously gone 3 seconds, but it was a total Mom Fail. Blake was mumbling something like, "Momma. Left. Me" in his little robot voice :-(

Needless to say, the afternoon was rough. The kids were not in a good mood and all of my patience and Super Mom adrenaline was gone. I decided to put on a movie for them and attempt my vlog for today. I was a minute into my video when Addie came running in crying. I thought she was hurt, but turns out she was just out of milk. That's when I went a little crazy.

I yelled. Refused to give her more milk until she could act like a big girl. Then because she was crying, Blake started crying. Then I started crying and called my mom to tell her I wanted to see an earlier showing of The Hunger Games. I wanted OUT!!!

And it was nice to be out. The movie was great (I will recap later) and my mom and Dana and I had a great time laughing and crying (I hate when Rue dies). 

But on the drive home, I started feeling sad. Sad that I left in such an angry mood. Sad that the kids didn't have a better day. Sad that I wanted out so badly I didn't even give them a nice goodbye. I just left. And they probably went to bed mad at me. So I asked Eric how the kids were and he said great, of course...because they always are for him, and then he asked what we did today because Addie said she had "a really fun day today". She got a pretty haircut, ate some M&Ms, went with Blakey to the doctor, took a nap in the car and watched some Doc McStuffins.

I suppose in her eyes, yesterday was a great day. And damn it...that's how I should see it in my eyes too. I made it through the morning. I survived. My kids got their haircuts, I got my errands done, we made it to Blake's appointment and we even took in a little story time. And had I not been so stressed about the day, I might have canceled my movie date (because I always feel guilty). And the night away was just what I needed. 

I guess looking back on yesterday, I really was Super Mom after all. I just needed to give myself and the kids more credit. I think that's something all of us mommies struggle with. We want to do it all and when we can't, we blame ourselves. We think we have failed if dinner isn't ready. Or if we forget diapers. Or if we miss an appointment. Or if our kids screams through Target. But the fact is...it happens to ALL of us. I don't care who you are. We've all had days like this and I am just glad that I am able to see the silver lining today and look at yesterday as a win, instead of a fail.

I mean after all...no one ever said being a mom was easy :-)

24 comments:

  1. This is exactly what I needed! I couldn't relate or agree more. Thanks for making me laugh and cry all in one post :)

    Sarah @ Keeping Up With The Roscow's

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    1. Aww...thanks Sarah :) It's so nice to know that we aren't alone in this whole thing we call motherhood. Ha!

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  2. I don't know what I'd do if my parents didn't live 10 min away!!

    Being a mom is SO TOUGH. The fails make the highs better!

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    1. Girlfriend...you ARE a super mom. Braden is like the luckiest kid in the world to have a mommy as strong and patient as you :)

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  3. Jen-always remember you are an amazing mom!! Everyone has stressful and crazy hard days! At the end of the day your kids will ALWAYS love you!! You're a fantasic person and mom!!! Love you!!

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    1. Thanks sweetie...I love you too!

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  4. Great post. I have these days way too often, I feel like! And a night out is usually just what it takes to keep me going too. Hang in there. I know we will one day be blogging about how much with miss our crazy kiddos! :-)

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    1. My mom tells me this all the time, Casey. I think you are both right :)

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  5. Definitely had a day like that today. The girls' non-stop fighting with Sam's screaming/crying just about drove me to the brink of insanity. I had to shoo them out of my room and give myself a breather! Thank goodness Will just slept through it all like the little angel he is. We ALL have those days, believe me. You should see me grocery shopping every Monday with all three. It always starts out great, but by the end it's chaos. :) Hugs to you! You're a fantastic Mom!

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    1. Heather...you are an amazing mommy!!! I can't even imagine taking 3 to the grocery store! You are definitely a super mom honey. I've always thought so.

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  6. Oh boy - I seem to having those days more and more often as the little one approaches 2. I get it - completely! Heather - I don't know how you are doing it with an infant right now!!! I am off to work right now, and I kinda can't wait to go ;) You are a Super Mom - never doubt that!! xo

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    1. Nancy...it seems like your kids are such great travels! But I suppose all 2 and 4 year olds have their days. It's a good thing they are all so cute!

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  7. Oh goodness girl! We all have those days, but thankfully they aren't all of our days! Hang in there Super Mom!

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    1. Thanks sweetie. You are right...it's a good thing that's not our every day, or we might need to drink a bottle of wine to get through it :)

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  8. I think you did a great job! We all have days like that; it's what makes us human.

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    1. SO TRUE!!! Your comments are always so encouraging :)

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  9. Tough day! I can't even imagine, but I think you are a GREAT mom and your kids are lucky to have you!! Good news though - every day is a new day!

    PS - Did you catch Bones on Monday? I LOVED the new episode so much!!

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    1. Aww...thanks honey!! And yes...today was a new day and it has been a good one :) oh, and Eric and I plan to watch bones tonight on DVR. Can't wait!! I will email you to dish about it later.

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  10. Amen girl!! You are right, we ALL have these days & they do suck...big time!! This being a mom thing, it's not for the weak!! I think more times than not, we are Super Moms....we just don't see it as often as we should!!

    And that mommy guilt thing...totally gets me every.stinkin.time!! When you said that you might have cancelled your movie date, I was thinking to myself..."that's totally something I would do!"

    Thanks for sharing your day with us! I have to admit at the beginning I was totally laughing out loud! You definitely entertained me!

    We saw The Hunger Games this past weekend & I LOVED it!! I've read the first two books, but haven't started the 3rd one yet!! I keep thinking I am going to get 2 whole days to myself (I don't know why I think that) to where I can just read without interruptions, but I should probably just get over that & get to reading!!

    p.s. this is the longest comment I've ever left anyone!! lol!

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    1. Tonya...I am so honored to hold your longest comment :) LOL. But thanks for all your thoughtful words. I'm glad you laughed because on days like that, it's all you can do to keep from crying. It's jut so nice to know that every mom goes through the same emotions. Mommy guilt is the WORST!
      And oh my gosh...you have to get started On Mocking Jay (book 3). i think the trilogy ended just the way I expected/wanted it too. Some people say different, but I loved the whole series. Can't wait for the next two movies now!!

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  11. You basically summed up my post from yesterday. I hate those days that just test you, but all in all, everything is ok.

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  12. I love your writing in this post! One of those days where the hopes are high and persevering seems within reach.... And then BAM! That's IT! Enough! I give up! ;-)

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  13. Oh girly. You ARE a super mom!!! :)

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  14. Just yesterday I had one of those days that nothing seems to work out and lose my temper.All I ask for God to give me patience.We need it as a mum and as a teacher.
    Thank you for sharing with your story.

    Lusine
    Enjoy Teaching English

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