That is a feeling I have been struggling with since I crossed the finish line on Sunday.
In fact, I think all 3 of us are struggling with the same thing. On Sunday afternoon, Joe texted me and said, "I think our Nike sensor was off during training. That race felt way too long"
And then I would talk to Dana and she would say, "We should have done more weekday runs."
And then I would say, "I think it was that damn lobster bisque soup we had the night before."
We were all making excuses to explain why we were missing that very important feeling. WHY didn't we feel satisfied?
We all set out to reach this goal with very little expectations about time or pace. All we wanted to do was FINISH.
And we did.
The average time for this race was over 3 hours, which means that we technically finished with an above average time. Reading that did make me feel better about the day. Even with all of the struggles...we finished above average. What an amazing accomplishment!!!
We DID kick ass and I AM so very proud of us. I am still crossing off that line on my bucket list and I will forever cherish the medal we earned.
There is still a bit of disappointment inside me. I know it's stupid and ridiculous...but it's there and I just can't ignore it.
None of us can ignore it.
For days now, the three of us of have been analyzing our race trying to figure out why it was so much harder than we expected. How could we run 12 miles with such ease only a week before, and struggle so badly just to get to mile 9? It's been hot all summer, so why did the heat effect me so much more that day? How could I laugh and carry on full conversations while running during training, and not be able to muster more than a whimper on race day? We've come up with a million different excuses (some of which are totally valid :-) but in the end, we know that nerves, lack of experience and stupid heat are the major causes.
But no matter the reasons for our less than perfect run, I guess we are just disappointed that the run wasn't more fun. We knew it would be hard and we would have to work our asses off, but we thought we would enjoy that pain the way we have on all of our other long runs. But this race was anything but fun. Joe ran alone, I ran on the verge of heat stroke and Dana ran like a nurse and a trainer...taking care of me and pushing me instead of worrying about herself. It just wasn't how we pictured the race would go.
But it's over now and we all have our medals hanging on the wall. All of our friends and family are SO PROUD of our accomplishment and we are too. So what do we do? Consider it a job well done and move on? Or quit crying like a bunch of babies and just give it another go?
Well because the three of us are stubborn as hell and a little crazy, we've decided...
We are giving it another go.
In just 3 months, we are all going to hit the streets of Chicago for another 13.1 miles. We are going to run the Monster Dash Half Marathon because if you can't have FUN running while dressed in costume, when can you?
The race is October 21st so it will be nice and cool :-) That also gives us 3 more months to train and build our strength. I can't guarantee that our time will be any better, but if we can run this one and ENJOY the experience...I will be totally and completely satisfied.
At least for now :-)